Queens of the Tarot up your sleeves

tarot_cards

How can I write anything more than druthers with you gone … with your salt still here in my veins,  in the stinging my eyes shares … with that feeling I never had when you left … not shaving all weekend but had all of me you wanted … by now lips would be as raw as my heart feels this moment … nearest to bleeding I have felt since I swore I would never let another you in … you came right through the front door and took the keys off the nail where they hung … I think you put them in your pocket … maybe you threw them out the open window … I’ve no idea, I was too busy with those eyes of yours … and how your intelligence drew me in like magnetic North turns the spiritual compass of a sinner towards the great reward … I was present for the second time in my life … grounded … ravenous … yet, somehow you found it amusing … when I spoke your name with passion and desired, to taste everything, to believe in the possibilities … you merely wanted assurances you could have assurances before you took the thorns off the rose canes … How did Leonard put it, “He was just looking for a card so high, he’d never have to deal another … ” and you found it only to dog ear the corner to remind yourself … it became essential I be broken down to baby girl and Eve before you returned my keys to me … assuring me, I was ordinary after all … you taught me too early, there is only one surprise … you carry the Queens of the Tarot up your sleeves …

© 2016 cdd All Rights Reserved

 

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NaPoWriMo #3

Dearest Mr. Cohen,

I came to your music quite late in my life,

Pardon me, but this couldn’t be helped,

I was born a little too late for my soul in nineteen sixty-four,

By this time in your life you had already seen,

The stitch, purpose, and the cosmic inseams,

What about life and why we use words,

Having been placed so strategically.

Yes, I am American born, wishing more understood,

The depth and compassion, you’ve given the world,

I guess it is true, as I’ve always been told,

I just have a flower girl’s soul,

For my inner child knew, when first I heard you,

As a poet, as one of the wilde,

You spoke from my heart, so true.

I’ve listened, I’ve learned,

I’ve read and reviewed,

Studies your portrait a million times through,

Held the words you have offered,

The naked soul you shared often,

And, yes, I argue with God too.

You kept it simple so much of the time,

No need to make burdens or bruise,

You made it so hard, you tore it apart,

Just for a reason to use up the glue,

You planted weeds and harvested flowers,

Boquets of glass, caskets for those who choose,

How we live at times, to merely taste the hues.

You’ve taught us of love’s emaculate embrace,

Kissing war of the foot though with distaste,

To sing for our sister’s freedom and grace,

Even though our counting beads are worn,

On hands stealing bread, feeding mouths of babes,

Your strong laughter lives in our pink hallways,

We shant ever forget your face.

You examined all our heros, and the heroins relaced,

Immortalizing these fragile poets promise with your praise,

Others dared not walk that space for lack of courage spent,

You, Leonard, took the dark wood’s path with lampless gallows,

For there is the greatest danger in lighting a smoke,

When your clothes are soaked in your truth and gasoline,

Opening all of the closets at once with no conical of refrain.

With Sharon you’ve breathed life into woman, Glorifying She in the fullness of the Self,

In Her truest beauty, Her sins, Her nakedness, or your word gowns,

Tis how we find our compass all so often, music being all we have,

In the temple, in the bedroom, in the grass or flowing fountain,

The melody seeks the melody hands dancing passion’s play to love,

This seeking ever draws us home in the end if we listen long enough.

To thank you overly, Mr. Cohen, for the songs and poetry,

I know that’s not your particular style, So, I’d like to say I am grateful, friend.

For your journey being such as it has been,

For your sharing, for your great smile, your diligence, and the quest,

The risk you took in searching so deeply, inside your wounded Self,

For Suzanne, Boogie Street, and Master Song, (to barely name a few)

for every drop of yourself you gifted.

Sincerely,

Carla Dawn

© cdd All Rights Reserved

The Alexandra, in Self Found

It is no secret I am a great admirer of Mr. Leonard Cohen. I don’t use the word fan because it seems to cheapen what an artist does, for me at least. It tends, in this age, to separate them from the sacredness of that which art used to embody. I introduced a friend of mine to Leonard a few weeks ago. He is only about 6 years my junior, however our upbringing in some ways was so drastically differing that he had never heard of Mr. Cohen despite, “knowing” a few pieces of his music from the radio over the years.  The first song I shared with him was a live version of “Suzanne” for  it is such a stirring descriptive tale of our human connections and often the ways in which we are opened to one another even when we believe there may be nothing for us to be touched by.

It has been another lady friend of Leonard’s who had been running through my mind lately though. She was Alexandria. I know most of his work yet, I had never encountered this song before. So, like my friend, we were able to experience something very sacred and explore an aspect of the feminine together, through a similar vein.

“Alexandra Leaving” came to me, or rather I was led to her, one late night as I was working on line feeling very intensely the truths of being a woman and of just having gone through my Rights of Passage to join the mighty Grandmothers and the Crones.

My very good friend and Author, Seth Mullins taught me how to be painfully honest with myself. Seth is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and he has pioneered the field of Dream Dowsing through Spiritual Self~Exploration in a way that I had never encountered before we became acquainted. He is a remarkable human being and in my struggle this particular night I thought of what Seth might do ? The answer was to let Spirit lead me.

Spirit led me to Leonard, as is so often the case. There the first song waiting was “Alexandra Leaving”. The song is based on a poem by Constantine Cavafy

http://www.leonardcohenfiles.com/cavafy.html

In experiencing the song I realized what I was trying to tell myself and My Self. It was a message of great encouragement. It was a love letter of sorts to this woman. It was nothing to do with sorrow or feeling anything except at peace with where I am in this moment, owning the space, the honor, the breath and depth or who I Am. It was truly a beautiful happening I had sought out for myself to experience. The Grandmother in me empowering the woman just setting herself on this Change of Life Path. “All is well, you are strong, this was foretold that you would be able to withstand.” In those moments, I was simply filled with a peaceful understanding of where I have been in this life and why, to some extent. The journey widened, any darkness became more light at the horizon. we grasp hands, and smiling began to walk on together.

There was a time in my life I would not thought of seeing 50 years old. Now, I have conversations about how the word “old” is just so wrong !! Life is a journey back to our youth, I believe, we are only meant to understand at the moments when we can open fully to it’s glory and it’s light. There is no describing it. We poets and scholars strive to. Those of us who have had moments of touching the face of God, Oh we swim backwards through time trying to capture even a split second of that ecstasy like a dream unimaginable it is so thick and pungent in our mouths and hollow in our stomachs. Yet, the Saktipata of Oneness can only happen when it is meant to, if we let our tumblers fall into place, if we are willingly led. I hope to love myself again so well as I did when “Alexandra Leaving” found me and helped me to understand a bit more of my grace in this world. For this, I thank Leonard Cohen, as ever, for all his wisdom and self discover shared with the world. He is and has been one of our greatest gifts.

I will not abandon this woman. I truly hope young women who feel a time when they are restless or hopeless will perhaps be led here and find Alexandra as well. Perhaps, they will identify more with Suzanne and her feathers from Salvation Army counters. Just never give up on yourself because if I had … I would have never know how amazing I was going to be at 50 and how groovy life gets. You will cry with joy when you arrive and see the beauty of it all. You would never believe it when the pain is so horrible but trust me. I have been there and the sun is warm, the colors are vivid, the Grand Mothers here are kind, and we welcome you all with love and cookies and ribbons for your hair. Your Alexandra can always be found.