The Alexandra, in Self Found

It is no secret I am a great admirer of Mr. Leonard Cohen. I don’t use the word fan because it seems to cheapen what an artist does, for me at least. It tends, in this age, to separate them from the sacredness of that which art used to embody. I introduced a friend of mine to Leonard a few weeks ago. He is only about 6 years my junior, however our upbringing in some ways was so drastically differing that he had never heard of Mr. Cohen despite, “knowing” a few pieces of his music from the radio over the years.  The first song I shared with him was a live version of “Suzanne” for  it is such a stirring descriptive tale of our human connections and often the ways in which we are opened to one another even when we believe there may be nothing for us to be touched by.

It has been another lady friend of Leonard’s who had been running through my mind lately though. She was Alexandria. I know most of his work yet, I had never encountered this song before. So, like my friend, we were able to experience something very sacred and explore an aspect of the feminine together, through a similar vein.

“Alexandra Leaving” came to me, or rather I was led to her, one late night as I was working on line feeling very intensely the truths of being a woman and of just having gone through my Rights of Passage to join the mighty Grandmothers and the Crones.

My very good friend and Author, Seth Mullins taught me how to be painfully honest with myself. Seth is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and he has pioneered the field of Dream Dowsing through Spiritual Self~Exploration in a way that I had never encountered before we became acquainted. He is a remarkable human being and in my struggle this particular night I thought of what Seth might do ? The answer was to let Spirit lead me.

Spirit led me to Leonard, as is so often the case. There the first song waiting was “Alexandra Leaving”. The song is based on a poem by Constantine Cavafy

http://www.leonardcohenfiles.com/cavafy.html

In experiencing the song I realized what I was trying to tell myself and My Self. It was a message of great encouragement. It was a love letter of sorts to this woman. It was nothing to do with sorrow or feeling anything except at peace with where I am in this moment, owning the space, the honor, the breath and depth or who I Am. It was truly a beautiful happening I had sought out for myself to experience. The Grandmother in me empowering the woman just setting herself on this Change of Life Path. “All is well, you are strong, this was foretold that you would be able to withstand.” In those moments, I was simply filled with a peaceful understanding of where I have been in this life and why, to some extent. The journey widened, any darkness became more light at the horizon. we grasp hands, and smiling began to walk on together.

There was a time in my life I would not thought of seeing 50 years old. Now, I have conversations about how the word “old” is just so wrong !! Life is a journey back to our youth, I believe, we are only meant to understand at the moments when we can open fully to it’s glory and it’s light. There is no describing it. We poets and scholars strive to. Those of us who have had moments of touching the face of God, Oh we swim backwards through time trying to capture even a split second of that ecstasy like a dream unimaginable it is so thick and pungent in our mouths and hollow in our stomachs. Yet, the Saktipata of Oneness can only happen when it is meant to, if we let our tumblers fall into place, if we are willingly led. I hope to love myself again so well as I did when “Alexandra Leaving” found me and helped me to understand a bit more of my grace in this world. For this, I thank Leonard Cohen, as ever, for all his wisdom and self discover shared with the world. He is and has been one of our greatest gifts.

I will not abandon this woman. I truly hope young women who feel a time when they are restless or hopeless will perhaps be led here and find Alexandra as well. Perhaps, they will identify more with Suzanne and her feathers from Salvation Army counters. Just never give up on yourself because if I had … I would have never know how amazing I was going to be at 50 and how groovy life gets. You will cry with joy when you arrive and see the beauty of it all. You would never believe it when the pain is so horrible but trust me. I have been there and the sun is warm, the colors are vivid, the Grand Mothers here are kind, and we welcome you all with love and cookies and ribbons for your hair. Your Alexandra can always be found.

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